This thought occurred to me during the course of the last week: Has it ever dawned on you that you have lost more friends during your life than you currently have?
Some of this is self evident. No-one is going to expect you to be friends now with all of the people you were friends with at the age of 5. Even at the height of Friends Reunited fever I could only recall the names of two friends from back then and one of them was Beverley, my first 'girlfriend'. (Neither of them was on Friends Reunited, either). If, like me, you moved around a lot as a kid then you have practically no chance of keeping up with everyone. And even if you have lived in the same town all your life, other people will have moved on.
Then there are the friends who, through circumstance, you lose touch with. For example, today two good friends of my ex-wife got married. I wasn't invited, nor did I expect to be. I've not heard from either of them since we split up. Similarly, I've not heard from the friends who own this or from any number of her mates that I used to spend a lot of my free time with.
Sometimes, you know you are not in touch with someone because you upset them for some reason. Fortunately, I can't think of many people who fall into this category, although I guess my ex-wife wouldn't have gone off with someone else if I hadn't done something to annoy or offend her.
The ones that I wonder about most, though, are the ones where I have no idea what I have done. Anyone who has read my other blog will know that I met my current wife at a wine tasting when a friend of mine could not attend. I've not heard from that friend in over six months and I have no idea why. When I get in touch, she tells me she is really busy and will get back to me soon, but she never does. Then their is my best friend from university, who I have not heard from at all since January 2001. I met him and his girlfriend for lunch, we spoke a couple of times on the phone in the week after, then nothing. What did I do?
Most puzzling at all is the friend I have lost touch with in the last few weeks, since I got married again. She was invited to the wedding and sadly couldn't make it. Now she is not only avoiding me, she's doing it in a really obvious way. And it is hard to ask someone what you have done wrong when they are not talking to you.
To end on a positive note, over the last 12 months I have actually reversed the trend, in that I think I have made more friends than I have lost. Some of these are people I knew slightly and with whom my relationship has grown closer than I ever could have imagined it would. Some of them are people I have met through my wife, who has a fantastic circle of friends (and arguably a very dodgy taste in husbands). And there are even one or two entirely new mates in there, too. I hope to keep bucking the trend for a lot longer, but if anyone I mentioned in paragraphs 2 to 6 want to get in touch, I'd love to hear from you.
Then there are the friends who, through circumstance, you lose touch with. For example, today two good friends of my ex-wife got married. I wasn't invited, nor did I expect to be. I've not heard from either of them since we split up. Similarly, I've not heard from the friends who own this or from any number of her mates that I used to spend a lot of my free time with.
Sometimes, you know you are not in touch with someone because you upset them for some reason. Fortunately, I can't think of many people who fall into this category, although I guess my ex-wife wouldn't have gone off with someone else if I hadn't done something to annoy or offend her.
The ones that I wonder about most, though, are the ones where I have no idea what I have done. Anyone who has read my other blog will know that I met my current wife at a wine tasting when a friend of mine could not attend. I've not heard from that friend in over six months and I have no idea why. When I get in touch, she tells me she is really busy and will get back to me soon, but she never does. Then their is my best friend from university, who I have not heard from at all since January 2001. I met him and his girlfriend for lunch, we spoke a couple of times on the phone in the week after, then nothing. What did I do?
Most puzzling at all is the friend I have lost touch with in the last few weeks, since I got married again. She was invited to the wedding and sadly couldn't make it. Now she is not only avoiding me, she's doing it in a really obvious way. And it is hard to ask someone what you have done wrong when they are not talking to you.
To end on a positive note, over the last 12 months I have actually reversed the trend, in that I think I have made more friends than I have lost. Some of these are people I knew slightly and with whom my relationship has grown closer than I ever could have imagined it would. Some of them are people I have met through my wife, who has a fantastic circle of friends (and arguably a very dodgy taste in husbands). And there are even one or two entirely new mates in there, too. I hope to keep bucking the trend for a lot longer, but if anyone I mentioned in paragraphs 2 to 6 want to get in touch, I'd love to hear from you.
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